My 3 year old, Henry, climbed to the top of the fort this evening and leaned out over the slide, as far as his tiny tiptoes would let him.
I smiled at him and bent back down to the garden where I was weeding...
"Moooommmm!!! It's Jesus!!!", he yells.
I stand up and when I turn to him I see him standing there, all stretched out, pointing at the glorious sunset.
Big grin on his face, he says "See? See?" Yes, baby, I see. Oh, how you make me see.
The big three all stop their game of tag when they hear him yell. They smile at Henry, look to the sunset, and take off again.
Peter, in the swing on the grass, starts fussing so I pick him up and call the big three over to start planting.
Sweet baby breath in my face-Dear Lord please let this be what Heaven smells like!
The children chatter as they clear space, poke holes in soft earth, and drop in the seeds. They are so excited to watch these little wonders grow.
Mama, who should we give our lemonade money to this year?
We head inside, a stampede of dirty feet.
Bits of grass and dirt make a trail from the door to the stairs...
Laughter from upstairs...
Exhausted boys falling into bed, breathing soft and steady...
Smiling girl, burrowing into her covers before a goodnight kiss...
Dishes piled high in the sink will stay dirty tonight. It's Sunday, and they'll keep until the morning.
Dog, sleeping by my feet...
A call from my husband; I miss that man so much it hurts...
Sweet babe, asleep on my chest...
Five children, healthy and safe...
How this broken woman can be so blessed I will never understand, but I will be thankful, each and every day.
Thank you, Lord, for your grace.
Lilypie Pregnancy Ticker
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Broken
I haven't had much time to write lately. We had a baby-we've been busy :)
Writing things out has never been my strong suit. I'm not a particularly good writer. But writing helps me to solidify things in my head and in my heart that would otherwise flit out before much time passes. I need repetition to make me remember.
As I said, we had a baby. !!! Life has been crazy, and delightful, and so stressful it makes me cry, but oh, has there been life :)
The last few months have been a whirlwind, and I've forgotten about everything else. But this week is different. This week is important-the most important.
We don't have Easter baskets out, or eggs colored, or candy bought. Those things will get done. Right now, though, the kids and I are planning the construction of a Lego tomb. Lego Jesus will be assembled, and a giant Lego rock is in the works.
This year I'm trying to focus on teaching my children what this season is really about. I have never put much effort into that, and it's about time that that changes.
We are so excited about Easter. And of course the kids can't wait to see what they'll find from the Easter Bunny, but we're trying to take the laser-like focus off of the baskets. Off of the candy.
Today is Maundy Thursday. Holy Thursday.
Before a couple of years ago, I never gave it a second thought. All is focused on the joyful Easter celebration. Bright eggs, fluffy bunnies, and more candy than I care to think about.
I love Easter. I always have. But I never truly understood what Easter was all about until recently.
Today my kids and I had a conversation before school. Our pastor posted a devotion and I read it to the kids, not sure what they would think.
We've always taught them that Easter is a celebration of the risen Christ. We've always taught them that Good Friday is when we remember Jesus' crucifixion. But I don't think that I had ever before taken the time to talk to them about the day before the cross. It's full impact hadn't really settled in me.
The day of preparation. Jesus washes his disciples feet. He prays. He breaks the bread. He pours the wine. He speaks of betrayal and death. But he also gives them a command. He commands them to love one another; to love with humility. Love one another by serving one another, and never forget his sacrifice.
This man-for while he is fully divine he is also fully human-knows that he will soon die. He knows that his body will break and his blood will flow. He knows this, and he carries on, with love in his heart.
Jesus laid down his life for us in the most humiliating way possible. God put on flesh and died on a tree. He was broken-for us.
I love Easter. I love celebrating my risen King. But I have learned that it is just as important to remember. To remember a humble carpenter, nailed to a tree, bleeding and dying to save the people he loves.
Talking with my children this morning, I was a little worried about being too heavy or dark right before school. But I feel a need, much more urgently than I used to, to make sure that they know, from a young age, what we are really celebrating. Because of his sacrifice, we get to celebrate. We couldn't celebrate without the sacrifice. We don't have to be sad, because God wins. God always wins. Jesus rose, and we are saved.
But it is so important to remember. A broken man, bleeding on a cross. God with us, dying for us-for everyone, all because he loves us.
Please take some time today to remember and reflect. Give thanks, and prepare for the most amazing celebration. The very roots of our faith.
Happy Easter
Writing things out has never been my strong suit. I'm not a particularly good writer. But writing helps me to solidify things in my head and in my heart that would otherwise flit out before much time passes. I need repetition to make me remember.
As I said, we had a baby. !!! Life has been crazy, and delightful, and so stressful it makes me cry, but oh, has there been life :)
The last few months have been a whirlwind, and I've forgotten about everything else. But this week is different. This week is important-the most important.
We don't have Easter baskets out, or eggs colored, or candy bought. Those things will get done. Right now, though, the kids and I are planning the construction of a Lego tomb. Lego Jesus will be assembled, and a giant Lego rock is in the works.
This year I'm trying to focus on teaching my children what this season is really about. I have never put much effort into that, and it's about time that that changes.
We are so excited about Easter. And of course the kids can't wait to see what they'll find from the Easter Bunny, but we're trying to take the laser-like focus off of the baskets. Off of the candy.
Today is Maundy Thursday. Holy Thursday.
Before a couple of years ago, I never gave it a second thought. All is focused on the joyful Easter celebration. Bright eggs, fluffy bunnies, and more candy than I care to think about.
I love Easter. I always have. But I never truly understood what Easter was all about until recently.
Today my kids and I had a conversation before school. Our pastor posted a devotion and I read it to the kids, not sure what they would think.
We've always taught them that Easter is a celebration of the risen Christ. We've always taught them that Good Friday is when we remember Jesus' crucifixion. But I don't think that I had ever before taken the time to talk to them about the day before the cross. It's full impact hadn't really settled in me.
The day of preparation. Jesus washes his disciples feet. He prays. He breaks the bread. He pours the wine. He speaks of betrayal and death. But he also gives them a command. He commands them to love one another; to love with humility. Love one another by serving one another, and never forget his sacrifice.
This man-for while he is fully divine he is also fully human-knows that he will soon die. He knows that his body will break and his blood will flow. He knows this, and he carries on, with love in his heart.
Jesus laid down his life for us in the most humiliating way possible. God put on flesh and died on a tree. He was broken-for us.
I love Easter. I love celebrating my risen King. But I have learned that it is just as important to remember. To remember a humble carpenter, nailed to a tree, bleeding and dying to save the people he loves.
Talking with my children this morning, I was a little worried about being too heavy or dark right before school. But I feel a need, much more urgently than I used to, to make sure that they know, from a young age, what we are really celebrating. Because of his sacrifice, we get to celebrate. We couldn't celebrate without the sacrifice. We don't have to be sad, because God wins. God always wins. Jesus rose, and we are saved.
But it is so important to remember. A broken man, bleeding on a cross. God with us, dying for us-for everyone, all because he loves us.
Please take some time today to remember and reflect. Give thanks, and prepare for the most amazing celebration. The very roots of our faith.
Happy Easter
Friday, October 5, 2012
From My Husband
Don was scheduled to write a devotion for his Emmaus meeting last night. He's never done this before, and I was excited to see what the Lord put on his heart.
He was led to tackle a topic that is extremely difficult for him. I was so delighted to see him turn to this scripture as his work schedule has become more and more demanding, and as his responsibilities outside of work have increased.
We have to acknowledge our limitations and rest before springing up again for our work. Our progress comes in halting steps, our work never quite finished.
God created the world in six days...and then rested. But we will need the next seven precious days to rest before the real work begins.
But there is much to do! I have to make-up for time away from work, time away from home, time away from family, time away from our other commitments. Our very human nature cries out for us to double-down now, to burn the candle at both ends, to spend the next seven days completely expending our energy before the more-important task of being His vehicle to change lives.
Is working into a frenzy now really trusting God with our lives? Or is that placing our faith in our own prowess and planning, our ability to endure hardship alone? Is that offering our very best to the Holy Spirit...or just the left-overs?
God gave us whatever stamina and capacities we have, but let me offer you this charge:
Trust in the Lord. No, REALLY trust in the Lord. Use these next seven days to pour your time into relationships, not the "honey-do" list. Build-up those whom you love and be strengthened by their love in return. Believe that He "gives to His beloved even in his sleep" (Psalm 127:2).
So what happens when we get so busy that we don't rest? The command to "be at rest" is not just for our benefit. Rest is not a guilty pleasure we have to sneak or hide. Our energy level will wind down until we are forced to acknowledge that we cannot engineer our loves as much as we would like to think. Sometimes, I find that to be a hard pill to swallow.
Acknowledging that weakness allows God to make us a promise in Matthew 11:28: "Come to me...and I will give you rest." You just may find that your burden is a bit lighter. That comes in Matthew 11:29...
I intend to do just that and, once my battery is charged, give it all back to Him next weekend. I invite you to do the same and - together - I think we will be amazed at the results.
De Colores.
I needed this reminder. I fall into the trap of resting not really being restful. But it is so important to take the time to actually find rest in the Lord. Remember to spend some time with Him today.
Peace to you all, and have a marvelous weekend my friends :)
He was led to tackle a topic that is extremely difficult for him. I was so delighted to see him turn to this scripture as his work schedule has become more and more demanding, and as his responsibilities outside of work have increased.
"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you." Psalm 116:7We are not as unstoppable as we like to think. We are not capable of finishing our creations in a day, a week, or - as with remodeling my master bathroom - even within a year. We eventually have to succumb to closing our eyes for at least a little while.
We have to acknowledge our limitations and rest before springing up again for our work. Our progress comes in halting steps, our work never quite finished.
God created the world in six days...and then rested. But we will need the next seven precious days to rest before the real work begins.
But there is much to do! I have to make-up for time away from work, time away from home, time away from family, time away from our other commitments. Our very human nature cries out for us to double-down now, to burn the candle at both ends, to spend the next seven days completely expending our energy before the more-important task of being His vehicle to change lives.
Is working into a frenzy now really trusting God with our lives? Or is that placing our faith in our own prowess and planning, our ability to endure hardship alone? Is that offering our very best to the Holy Spirit...or just the left-overs?
God gave us whatever stamina and capacities we have, but let me offer you this charge:
Trust in the Lord. No, REALLY trust in the Lord. Use these next seven days to pour your time into relationships, not the "honey-do" list. Build-up those whom you love and be strengthened by their love in return. Believe that He "gives to His beloved even in his sleep" (Psalm 127:2).
So what happens when we get so busy that we don't rest? The command to "be at rest" is not just for our benefit. Rest is not a guilty pleasure we have to sneak or hide. Our energy level will wind down until we are forced to acknowledge that we cannot engineer our loves as much as we would like to think. Sometimes, I find that to be a hard pill to swallow.
Acknowledging that weakness allows God to make us a promise in Matthew 11:28: "Come to me...and I will give you rest." You just may find that your burden is a bit lighter. That comes in Matthew 11:29...
I intend to do just that and, once my battery is charged, give it all back to Him next weekend. I invite you to do the same and - together - I think we will be amazed at the results.
De Colores.
I needed this reminder. I fall into the trap of resting not really being restful. But it is so important to take the time to actually find rest in the Lord. Remember to spend some time with Him today.
Peace to you all, and have a marvelous weekend my friends :)
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
The Caffeine Cup
Yesterday was insane. Insane in a good way, but crazy nonetheless.
We spent three hours at Easton with some awesome friends. There aren't many ways to start your day that are better than spending hours in the company of great people.
After spending approximately 30 minutes at home (long enough to change Henry, empty the pool bag of wet things, and empty the cooler) we tore out of the house so that I could make it to a baby appointment on time. Kids were bummed that they didn't get to come, but hey, there were cartoons and Olympics. Aunt Maggie is awesome and had some cool diving recorded :)
So after the appointment (and, by the way, baby is there, right where it's supposed to be!) we had a little time to breathe. This also gave me time to realize that it was 4:30, we were in Lancaster, and I had to have the kids fed and in Pickerington by 6:30 to pick up Don and head to the church.
This is also the time that I realized I couldn't ignore the migraine any longer.
I was desperate, and I headed to McDonald's with Henry in tow. Henry thinks it's so cool when he's the only kid in the car.
Fortunately for me, my doctor had just confirmed my theory that Extra Strength Tylenol + caffeine is about the best you can do when you're pregnant. In his words, 'Pop some pills and grab a double-shot of espresso'. I love my doctor.
McDonald's (or McDonald's House, as Henry has started calling it) doesn't serve espresso. Hmmm...I ended up getting a coffee AND a Dr.Pepper, because in my expert medical opinion that was about as close as I could get to an espresso. Aren't I smart? :)
Henry kept asking me on the way back to the house, 'Can I have some your drink?' I would tell him no. 'Why not?!' Because it's pop, and you don't need the caffeine. 'Mama, what caffeine?' Caffeine is a chemical. 'Mama, you need chemicals?' Yes, yes I do. Pause for silence while Henry is thinking...
'Mama, I have some of your caffeine cup?' I couldn't help but laugh. I told him 'no', and then he asked if when he was big like me (thank you very much) he could have his own caffeine cup. Sure thing buddy :)
I realize that this post is nowhere near insightful or witty, but my kids crack me up.
Between Henry and the caffeine cup...
Gwennie telling me that she's praying for 12 kids when she grows up (so she can have them attack her brothers, she says)...
John's complicated and intricate plans for everything under the sun...
and Jimmy thinking that he's 14...
...life has been crazy. Crazy and delightful and full of reminders that I am not, by any means, the one in control. Insights into their little minds remind me that they are little people too, with thoughts and opinions all their own. Wonderfully made creations that are a joy to watch grown and develop, even when they are at each others throats.
Oh, and even though the day was insane, we got to end it in worship with a huge group of new friends and old, being reminded of the crazy love that surrounds us all. How cool is that?
And thankfully, there is always that caffeine cup to help me through the tough days :)
We spent three hours at Easton with some awesome friends. There aren't many ways to start your day that are better than spending hours in the company of great people.
After spending approximately 30 minutes at home (long enough to change Henry, empty the pool bag of wet things, and empty the cooler) we tore out of the house so that I could make it to a baby appointment on time. Kids were bummed that they didn't get to come, but hey, there were cartoons and Olympics. Aunt Maggie is awesome and had some cool diving recorded :)
So after the appointment (and, by the way, baby is there, right where it's supposed to be!) we had a little time to breathe. This also gave me time to realize that it was 4:30, we were in Lancaster, and I had to have the kids fed and in Pickerington by 6:30 to pick up Don and head to the church.
This is also the time that I realized I couldn't ignore the migraine any longer.
I was desperate, and I headed to McDonald's with Henry in tow. Henry thinks it's so cool when he's the only kid in the car.
Fortunately for me, my doctor had just confirmed my theory that Extra Strength Tylenol + caffeine is about the best you can do when you're pregnant. In his words, 'Pop some pills and grab a double-shot of espresso'. I love my doctor.
McDonald's (or McDonald's House, as Henry has started calling it) doesn't serve espresso. Hmmm...I ended up getting a coffee AND a Dr.Pepper, because in my expert medical opinion that was about as close as I could get to an espresso. Aren't I smart? :)
Henry kept asking me on the way back to the house, 'Can I have some your drink?' I would tell him no. 'Why not?!' Because it's pop, and you don't need the caffeine. 'Mama, what caffeine?' Caffeine is a chemical. 'Mama, you need chemicals?' Yes, yes I do. Pause for silence while Henry is thinking...
'Mama, I have some of your caffeine cup?' I couldn't help but laugh. I told him 'no', and then he asked if when he was big like me (thank you very much) he could have his own caffeine cup. Sure thing buddy :)
I realize that this post is nowhere near insightful or witty, but my kids crack me up.
Between Henry and the caffeine cup...
Gwennie telling me that she's praying for 12 kids when she grows up (so she can have them attack her brothers, she says)...
John's complicated and intricate plans for everything under the sun...
and Jimmy thinking that he's 14...
...life has been crazy. Crazy and delightful and full of reminders that I am not, by any means, the one in control. Insights into their little minds remind me that they are little people too, with thoughts and opinions all their own. Wonderfully made creations that are a joy to watch grown and develop, even when they are at each others throats.
Oh, and even though the day was insane, we got to end it in worship with a huge group of new friends and old, being reminded of the crazy love that surrounds us all. How cool is that?
And thankfully, there is always that caffeine cup to help me through the tough days :)
Monday, July 16, 2012
Reflecting
I actually wrote this post a few months ago and never posted it. I came across it today (as I was playing around trying to figure out how to put the baby ticker thingy up on the page!) and it was just so fitting for how I've been feeling lately that I had to share.
And really, now that pregnancy hormones are getting tossed into the mix as well, I've been a bit unhinged.
I needed to read this today, and I hope it shines a little light for you too!
Love and Grace to all of you :)
~K
I've been feeling a little out of sorts lately.
I think I've let myself get too caught up in the 'what do we need to do today??', and not let myself have enough...time. Space. Freedom. I've been telling myself that so many other things are Really Important, and not taking the time for what is actually important.
What this has translated to, in practical terms, is less time spent with my bible, less time doing devotions (even though I found a devotional that I love), and a lot of time spent in floundering prayer. And while there's nothing wrong with prayer, I could really use a lot less of the floundering feeling I've had.
I realised a few weeks ago that what he has been trying to tell me is that I need to stop moving. Stop doing for the sake of doing. That laundry, while necessary, does not have to be done Right This Moment. He's been telling me to go about my business, but please, oh please, make my business about him. Please, please peek around, and notice him, everywhere.
This is a journal entry that I recently unearthed as I was cleaning out some files on the computer. And I think this is where he is leading me back to.
And really, now that pregnancy hormones are getting tossed into the mix as well, I've been a bit unhinged.
I needed to read this today, and I hope it shines a little light for you too!
Love and Grace to all of you :)
~K
I've been feeling a little out of sorts lately.
I think I've let myself get too caught up in the 'what do we need to do today??', and not let myself have enough...time. Space. Freedom. I've been telling myself that so many other things are Really Important, and not taking the time for what is actually important.
What this has translated to, in practical terms, is less time spent with my bible, less time doing devotions (even though I found a devotional that I love), and a lot of time spent in floundering prayer. And while there's nothing wrong with prayer, I could really use a lot less of the floundering feeling I've had.
I realised a few weeks ago that what he has been trying to tell me is that I need to stop moving. Stop doing for the sake of doing. That laundry, while necessary, does not have to be done Right This Moment. He's been telling me to go about my business, but please, oh please, make my business about him. Please, please peek around, and notice him, everywhere.
This is a journal entry that I recently unearthed as I was cleaning out some files on the computer. And I think this is where he is leading me back to.
August 21, 2011
It is Sunday evening, and as I sit here I am just
filled. I feel so full and yet I want
more. I feel like there is a string
attached to me, drawing me, tugging on me, pulling me closer and closer to His
word. And I can’t get enough. Sometimes I’ll start reading one thing, and
think of or see a reference to something else, something I haven’t read yet and I
feel like I have to go read it right now.
I can’t get enough, and I can’t get it fast enough. I wonder if the enemy doesn’t sometimes use a
passion like that for evil. How? By not letting me be still long enough to
truly ingest anything. Not fully. So today, as I feel so filled with love, and
friendship, a desire for servanthood, and an insatiable need for more of His
word, I pray for peace. An inner
peace. The ability to slow down and
believe that God will grant me what I need in order to learn what I need to learn, and
to serve where I need to serve. I pray
that with this peace, comes stillness inside.
I want a simple faith. I feel so
excited about everything that I don’t know where to begin. Except that I know exactly where to
begin. In Him. In His word, and wrapped up in His love.
Each time I'm feeling lost and out of my element, he keeps giving me reminders to turn back to him, to keep looking for him. He won't lead me astray.
"My world is your classroom. My word is a lamp to your feet and a light for your path."
from Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young
Each time I'm feeling lost and out of my element, he keeps giving me reminders to turn back to him, to keep looking for him. He won't lead me astray.
"My world is your classroom. My word is a lamp to your feet and a light for your path."
from Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young
Friday, May 4, 2012
Just a little reminder
Don't forget to marvel in the little things today people.
Henry had to wash his hands this morning after digging in the dirt, and I've never seen anyone so in awe as this boy is of water running out of a faucet.
Go wiggle your toes in the dirt, splash in some water, watch dandelion seeds float away, or spy on a bug and watch it crawl.
Take some time and simply marvel at our world :-)
Henry had to wash his hands this morning after digging in the dirt, and I've never seen anyone so in awe as this boy is of water running out of a faucet.
Go wiggle your toes in the dirt, splash in some water, watch dandelion seeds float away, or spy on a bug and watch it crawl.
Take some time and simply marvel at our world :-)
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Rebel Heart
I heard a song the other day, 'White Flag' by Chris Tomlin.
First of all, I love his music. Love it. So it's pretty likely that I'm gonna like whatever new song he comes out with, but this one really touched a nerve with me. Touched a nerve in that good kind of painful way.
I've been battling inside my own head and heart for the last few weeks, not bothering to ask for his help. And he's been watching, waiting patiently for me to remember, again, that I cannot possibly win this by myself, that I cannot beat myself into submission. Waiting for me to remember how much he wants to step in and help me, but like a gentleman, waits to be invited into the fray and dives in headfirst as soon as he gets the nod.
These are the words that got me all off-balance:
'We cannot win this fight
Inside our rebel hearts
We're laying down our weapons now
We raise our white flags
We surrender all to you
All for you
We raise our white flag
The war is over
Love has come
Your love has won'
There is no shame in surrendering to him, letting his love wash over you.
You just have to remember to do it.
His peace be with you all tonight, my friends.
First of all, I love his music. Love it. So it's pretty likely that I'm gonna like whatever new song he comes out with, but this one really touched a nerve with me. Touched a nerve in that good kind of painful way.
I've been battling inside my own head and heart for the last few weeks, not bothering to ask for his help. And he's been watching, waiting patiently for me to remember, again, that I cannot possibly win this by myself, that I cannot beat myself into submission. Waiting for me to remember how much he wants to step in and help me, but like a gentleman, waits to be invited into the fray and dives in headfirst as soon as he gets the nod.
These are the words that got me all off-balance:
'We cannot win this fight
Inside our rebel hearts
We're laying down our weapons now
We raise our white flags
We surrender all to you
All for you
We raise our white flag
The war is over
Love has come
Your love has won'
There is no shame in surrendering to him, letting his love wash over you.
You just have to remember to do it.
His peace be with you all tonight, my friends.
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